Wicked Games
by EverlastingMuse
Summary: Steve's still adjusting to life after defrosting from the ice. He's tired of being Captain America. All he wants is to be needed. When a beautiful woman with complex issues crashes into his life, he finds exactly what he's been missing this whole time. He finds himself in Maria, and they play their wicked games until they're both lost in each other.


The cool air burned Steve Rogers' face as he walked the streets of Brooklyn. He felt lost in this modern world, surrounded by the din of the cars and he felt comforted and also afraid of the familiar place he once called home. _Home._ Where was home? Stark Tower wasn't home to him. All of the friends and family he had were gone. He was the brave soldier, but he was the only survivor. It wasn't fair that he lived this long. Apparently, he had something - what had Coulson called it? Survivor's guilt? He would have rather died in the ice than live this half shell of a life.

Ever since the Chitauri attack, New York had a glimpse of what aliens and a ragtag group can do when put together in the streets of Times Square. Ever since then, Steve had been careful to not go out with his suit on. Over the years Captain America became an icon, a bastion of democracy, but Steve thought he was just a simple soldier. He felt like a monkey in a suit, being gawked at and worshiped every time he had to go on a special assignment. Steve liked working but he didn't want that adoration; he just was doing his job. A job that couldn't fulfill him. He was just empty inside.

All Steve wanted to do was live a simple life, serve his country, stop the bullies, and maybe have a wife and a kid. He was just a scrawny sick kid from Brooklyn at his core. He wanted to live a good life and smile at the sun rising every morning with Peggy by his side. But all of that was ripped right out from underneath him as soon as he took out Red Skull. Hydra took so much from him, it not only took his best friend, but his whole life.

_Baby, I can bring my pain._

_I got my heart right here._

_I got my scars right here._

He just wanted to _feel_ something.

* * *

He made conversation with the other Avengers, but he never had anything close to a real friend. Well, except for Bruce. They both had people they lost due to their changes. At first he had felt such guilt whenever he was around the man, because it was his successful experiment that had led to the creation of the Hulk. Bruce hated The Other Guy, but he never held Steve accountable for his change. It confused Steve, because in some way, he felt completely responsible for what happened to Bruce. He saw how the Hulk took over his life. Nevertheless, it was easy to talk to Bruce. He was the only one out of all the Avengers who knew how hard it was to survive when your connections to the world had been severed completely.

Bruce even spoke to him about the failed suicide attempt over a beer one night on the roof. Even though Steve couldn't get drunk, it became a ritual for the two of them.

"I couldn't take it anymore. I was tired. The Other Guy took everything from me. Even Betty... I felt like I had nothing, that I was nothing. Except destruction and death. Everything I did hurt others. I had no family, no friends, no sense of self. I was completely done with life, and I needed to end it. So I did. And surprise, I couldn't even kill myself without The Other Guy making an unwanted appearance. I pulled the trigger and it didn't work. I wanted to die right then and there. Sometimes I still do. But then I think about the generosity and kindness I've received from Tony and you. The chance to live life again. Do all of it differently. Try to do good. It helps me get through the night. Maybe it all can change." Bruce smiled wryly and patted Steve on the shoulder.

"Maybe." Steve whispered, and he suddenly felt guilty for judging him so harshly on the helicarrier. Bruce wasn't a monster. He was just a man who was dealt the wrong cards in life.

It reminded him of what he could be like if he just adjusted to this new world.

_I need confidence in myself._

* * *

As Steve entered the rundown gym where he spent many a night beating punching bags to release his frustration, his cell phone rang. He got the hang of it pretty quickly, as it was a flip phone and not one of those new touchscreen phones that Stark used.

"Hello?" Steve answered.

"Hey! Capsicle! I noticed you've been a bit gloomy lately, and I've got just the thing to pull you out of your funk!" Tony replied. You could practically see the grin on his face through the phone.

"Tony, I'm fine. I don't need anything or anyone to help me feel better. I'm good." Steve murmured, as he furrowed his eyebrows.

"No, you're not fine. I know what fine is. I practically invented the meaning of "fine" and I know what the hell I'm talking about. You've been mopey as hell since they defrosted you. Now what you need is to get out for the night. Have fun. And by have fun, I mean get laid. I have just the place for you to blow off some steam. It's a club right outside Brooklyn. You'll love it." Tony said breezily.

Steve pondered Tony's idea for a moment. He could use a night out. It could be an experiment. He could be normal, at least for one night.

He was anxious, but he had to try something to make him feel again. He had been numb for so long. As if the ice he had slept in for 70 years made its way into his soul, completely removing his sense of feeling and affecting his ability to live as a normal person, which was all he wanted to begin with.

"Now I know you don't like these types of joints but I'm sure you'd warm up to it. There are hot women all over the place and before you ask no, there are no illegal activities going on there and yes, I have been there several times naked and nothing bad has ever happened-"

"I'll do it." Steve interrupted Tony, his fingers trembling.

"Perfect! I'll text you the address and you'll have the time of your life you blushing virgin, you." Tony hung up abruptly.

What in the hell had he gotten himself into?

* * *

Steve found the club in a part of the city that he had never seen before. He felt self conscious of himself, and as he walked in the door, he tried to leave his anxiety outside.

There were women of all sizes in there, and they were all pretty, but Steve felt completely out of place. Bucky always made fun of him for his awkwardness around parties and girls. But this was a completely different ball park than the forties. In this club, most of the women were wearing almost nothing, and it was jarring to him. He knew he didn't belong there. It was too much for him to handle.

All he wanted was to be loved. He wanted to feel needed and wanted and alive.

_Tell me you love me, only for tonight._

He heard some fighting outside, so he decided to use that as an excuse to leave.

Steve saw a couple screaming at each other, the woman dressed in shorts and a t shirt, and the man wearing an expensive suit that looked like something Tony would wear at one of his galas.

"You don't pay rent this week, you're out. I'm tired of taking care of your ass. We don't have the time to be taking care of bitches who don't pay their rent. Either you get back in there and work for your money or I'm kicking you out of the apartment building!" The burly man yelled angrily.

"I'm trying, okay? Vito left me and I've been detoxing and it's been hard lately. I can't fuck johns when I can barely walk, dumbass!" The woman replied sharply.

"Whatever, I'm done with you. I don't need to be worrying about you when I have other girls who pull their own weight around here." The man shrugged, and crossed the street.

Steve walked over to the woman, and got a closer look at her. She was a beautiful dame, and the moonlight illuminated her dark skin. He immediately walked over to her, and bent down slightly to see her face clearly. Her mahogany eyes shone brightly even though she was still quietly crying. He could see the pain in her eyes. So she was a drug addict and a prostitute. She must be in some difficult times, then. _How could she still be so beautiful and so sad?_

"Hello, ma'am. Are you alright?" Steve asked politely.

The woman nodded her head. "I'm fine, thank you. I'm sorry if I was disturbing you. Life isn't exactly going my way right now. It's kind of a long story, but I'm just feeling horrible right now," She sniffled.

"I don't think you're fine, and I don't want you to apologize for feeling bad. I understand that feeling. It's kind of like you're drowning, and no one else knows you are but you." He replied.

She nodded again. Her wild curly hair was in her eyes, and he pulled some strands behind her ear. She gave him a small smile. It was breathtaking, and Steve would do anything to see that smile again.

"By the way, I'm Steve. And you are? I mean, other than gorgeous?" Steve inwardly cringed at his words. He was never good with words, especially with women. He had to mull over his words before speaking in order to say something he wouldn't regret later. Except with Peggy. He could always talk to Peggy. But she isn't Peggy, this is- oh. He didn't even know her name and he already had his foot in his mouth.

"My name's Maria. Nice to meet you. Although, it would have been nicer under different circumstances. I look a mess right now, and you look-" she gestured wildly, "fucking attractive." Steve blushed at her words. Maria had a mouth on her. She was a little spitfire.

_Maria_, her name reverberated in his mind.

"Well, Maria, it's awfully cold. I don't want you to get sick. Would you mind terribly if I dropped you off at your place? I don't want to be responsible for you getting pneumonia. Trust me, it's not a fun ordeal." He grinned. After being ill for years before the serum, he had more than enough experience with pneumonia. He frowned at the memory.

Maria looked stunned. There was something significant in her eyes that captivated Steve. He could have sworn time stopped right then and there.

"Thank you. I think I'd like that very much. But please don't judge me - I live in a bad part of town. I'm not sure someone like you would be comfortable there." She bit her lip.

Steve smiled widely. "Ma'am, I've lived in apartments that would make you want to scrub every inch with ammonia and bleach. I've also slept in war zones, so I think I can handle your apartment." They both laughed.

He helped her get up, and they walked over to his bike. Maria's eyes widened as she saw the motorcycle.

"Um, are you sure this is safe? I was always warned to stay clear of guys who ride motorcycles." Steve laughed.

"Don't worry. You're safe with me." Steve replied, as he got on the bike. He gave Maria the helmet. She stared at him again, placed the helmet on her head, and followed his lead.

* * *

It was nearly midnight when they reached Maria's apartment.

Maria wasn't kidding when she said it was in a bad part of town - there were gunshots heard as they drove in, and her apartment building looked as if it needed to be condemned. His eyebrows furrowed. Surely it wasn't safe for her to be living in a place like this?

He walked her to her door, and they stared into each other's eyes. There was something captivating about Maria, something Steve couldn't understand. Just looking into her eyes made him feel alive.

Steve knew he should leave. He should go back to the Tower and ignore that this night ever happened, forget meeting Maria, and just move on. But he couldn't bring himself to move a muscle.

"I know this is quite forward of me, but would you mind if I spent the night?"


End file.
